When It Rains, It Pours…

IMG_7268b_triple_rainbow (Photo credit: oaklandEarthGirl)

Dearest daughter,

Your Mama used to say, “When it rains, it pours.”  I used to love the way she would say it too…with a southern accent and sweet long draw on the rains and pours words.  I can still hear her saying it in my head.  Man was she ever right.  The thing I remember as a child was when life got difficult, she didn’t just give up and wallow in her sadness.  She stood taller and faced the challenge ahead. My mom (your Mama) was lucky though-she had Grandpa by her side.  They were the best team and the most precious couple around.  I yearn for someone to just hold me, take away the pain and look me in the eyes and tell me that everything is going to be okay.  I need that more than ever now.

If yesterday wasn’t difficult enough, your father decided to file court papers asking for the alimony to stop.  But I won’t give him the satisfaction of a single tear.  He isn’t worth that.  I am going to do what my Mom used to do.  Stand tall and stand strong.  God will not let us down.  He will take care of our needs and He will provide just what we need to survive.  I am sure of it.  There is nothing to fear.  God is in control.

I am angry and frustrated that your dad would do this again but this doesn’t surprise me at all.  I would be surprised if he was reasonable.  I would never blame anyone in my life for not wanting to be a part of this family unit solely for the fact that he would have to put up with being pulled into court every other year for another ridiculous alteration in support.  I just hope that you are not too affected by this filing.

It may rain and it may pour, but in the end, there will be a rainbow more beautiful than we could ever imagine.  I have to hold tight to that promise.  God commands us to trust Him and believe that He will provide.  I put my faith in God every day. It is a choice I make when I wake up and when I lay my head down.  I choose Him.

During this time I promise to shield you from any pain.  I promise to do my best to provide the best life I can for you.  If I have to get another job and work every weekend so that we can stay in our home, I will.  I love you my sweet, sweet child.  You are so incredibly important to me and you are the reason why I work as hard as I do.  I will do whatever it takes to keep the promise I made to you the day you were born-To love and protect you until the day that I die.

Biggest hugs,

Mommy